Lately, M’lady and her Karagöz Puppets have been quite silent. As a matter of fact they’ve been plastered against the wall due to the centrifugal force such as that experienced in a circus ride that goes fast round and round before the bottom drops out and people stick on the sides. Yep. That’s been the nature of things as of late! M. had taken on the heroic superheroe dance taking care of everything for which we and M’lady are eternally grateful,
“Of course,” Hacivad Bey extolls, “this business about quiet puppets and centrifugal force is a metaphor for a host of silence inducing health problems as of late.”
Kenne, the Queen of manners and maintenance of ladylike behavior puppet has named herself the spokesman for M’lady these days, saying “M’lady has experienced much pain as of late – the laundry list of which we will spare those who are faint of heart from reading here. Suffice it to say that M’Lady had a hysterectomy plus last Thursday & now the ‘divorce’ between M’lady and her uterus and regional companions is complete. We hope you will respect the privacy of M., M’lady and her sore body in this difficult time”.
(Boy – she sure took that wording from the Gloria Aldred playbook of PR responses, didn’t she?)
On Saturday, Esma, the hippie puppet, prone to truth telling, engaged in a bit of subterfuge while the little chorus of dancing lady puppets distracted Kenne’s attention. She took over as the commander of public relations. Her statement was as follows:
“I’m sure M’lady would be fine if I let you know that the anesthesiologists doped her up so much that her bladder forgot how to work. Unfortunately this has resulted in an addition to our household. We have a new puppet. She is a temporary guest who has come home from puppet land in the hospital and her name is Catherine the great. Catherine The great is a big catheter bag. She is not to be mixed up with Kitty the cute, her younger sister who is much smaller and employs Velcro straps to attach to M’lady’s leg And can be hidden under a skirt.”
Upon this statement, Kenne Thanks with horror at the notion of discussion of what may be hidden under a skirt.
Clearing her throat, Esma said “well we have made every attempt to communicate with this alien puppet life form from the hospital, she seems quite busy with her task and well not unfriendly, not particularly interested in communicating with us or learning the ways of our Ottoman puppet court.”
Today, all public-relations management has been taken over by Perihan Hanım,
the fairy godmother puppet, who reports: “Catherine the great has returned to her home country along with Kitty the cute. We appreciate all that they supported us with during this difficult time and are happy to report that they have returned home for good. Best of all, however, is that all of the growths are benign and the one that would have caused worried and need for further treatment has been completely removed with no residue.”
“Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!” Proclaim the puppets!
“As M’Lady rests (and rests and rests) All puppets are doing their best to aid in her recovery. Yehuda Rebbe has deliver ed delicious bowls of dill infused chicken soup from her friends, referred to as “Jewish penicillin” by those friends…Hacivad Bey Read aloud from the folks that have been delivered her way. The little chorus of dancing ladies make sure that all of her flowers have fresh water each day. Karagöz is in charge of delivering gluten-free treats from the towering basket of gourmet food that arrived this morning and manages to deliver about half of it before he eats it on the way to her bedside. And of course the human husband, M., Is front and center in her care – protective and loving and trying to secure her rest and comfort at any cost.”
Mercan Bey, Arabian spice trader puppet closes out the press conference for the day, saying “We wish we had a more interesting story to tell but M’Lady’s brain is not very functional and is in fact quite foggy from Percocet (a drug new to me as compared to the Ottoman spice markets I usually frequent) and the like. We hope to be back soon with tales of cross cultural marital road trips abounding.