Kenne recommends the nar (pomegranate) cure for our middle-aged tummies


An opened up pomegranate.

An opened up pomegranate. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sighing and turning over, I tried to tune out Kenne and her constant observations about my weight – I find that in people of a certain generation and class – appearances are everything.  Although, I must admit, my students often comment on these things as well.

Can you imagine a classroom of students commenting on your weight? Well, that’s my fate in the classroom.  Last week, two of them asked me if I was pregnant!  M. tells me that there is NO WAY that I look pregnant, even though I am overweight.  It’s enough to re-awaken the whole beach obesity debates in Bodrum that almost led me to don a burquini for the shock factor! Now that I have tenure, I am going to have to come up with some sort of snarky response to stop that train before it leaves the station.  “How would it be,” I could say to them, “if I commented on YOUR weight in front of the classroom?”

As we got up, I found pomegranate-related notes and images across the apartment.  She had clearly been up all night.  Indeed, her trusty-dusty handmaiden, Zenne, the nervous Nellie puppet, known to quiver like a bowl of quince jelly on most occasions, was still asleep after a night’s labor.  I guess it was bad enough to take some heed of the somewhat-snotty, in-our-business puppet’s words – I suppose there is a grain of truth in everything.

Let’s get to peeling pomegranates!

English: A worker preparing fresh pomegranate ...

A worker preparing fresh pomegranate juice from these pomegranate fruits. Photo taken at a market in Istanbul, Turkey. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A consideration of Turkish junk food…is that an oxymoron?


Leblebi a.k.a. roasted chick peas - a favorite of Mustafa Kemal Ataturk's, apparently, along with M.

My recent foray into the world of leblebi (roasted chick peas, Ataturk’s favorite), salted pumpkin seeds, potato chips and rose hips for road trips  got me to thinking about junk food in general here – what do Turks consider junk food?  Well, I know M. thinks that garlicky eggplant is Turkish junk food.  I think it is his favorite – as you can read more about here – along with our homestyle recipe.

 

Well, we already know about leblebi, salted baked pumpkin seeds – and the amazingly plentiful offerings of Lay’s potato chips all over Turkey, which, while flavored in the most Turkish of ways, I still find capitalistically depressing in this globalized era.  Here are some of the other types of junk foods I find, for whatever reason, most intriguing.

 

…Not meant to be comprehensive, just what has captured my attention…

Tip of the grapevine - who knew?

Moving beyond Lay’s, M. tells me of his friend P. from Bozcaada, who is always eager to venture away from our patio towards the Aegean – and the vineyard in between.  In the vineyard, he collects the tips of grape vines.  M. explains to me that this is sort of like a treat/snack – the sour-sweet ends of the tendrils of the grapes at the tip. He tells me that P. brings home armfuls from the fields to the village whenever he can.  I make a mental note to try this once we get to Bozcaada.

 

 

 

Other junk food-ish looking things I have seen around being consumed en masse are often found in “bufes” as far as I can see.  Bufes, think ‘buffets’ are sort of like a New York City bodega with some cooked food available.  I often see young, hungry men grabbing a couple of orders to tost (yes, half a loaf of toasted wheat bread) with peynir (“peyneer” white cheese) way in between meals.

 

 

 

Sometimes tost involves some sucuk (“sujuhk” a very fatty and garlicky sausage that is cooked split open).  A more detailed description can be found here, written by the folks at the Zesty Moments blog.  You can also check out a slide show on Turkish fast food here.

A bufe - or Turkish fast food joint

Red-pepper-infused simit from a street vendor in Antakya/Hatay - delicious!

Now, I will take you to the simit snack I saw in Hatay/Antakya.  While there are scads of posts around the Interwebs about simit, that toothsome sesame pastry for teatime, I really, really like the Hatay version (near the Syria border, where the refugee camps are right now housing thousands of people fleeing from the force of their government and where violence continues).  But the topic of the day is light, to give us some respite from the ills of the world outside our windows, that’s Microsoft Windows, for me.  Back to simit – here is the Antakya/Hatay version – with lots of pul biber (a.k.a. Aleppo pepper).  Clearly, the southern influence is present – hot, hot, hot!

SU BÖREĞİ!!! A mouth-wateringly delicious savory pastry - order it online if you live in Istanbul https://borekonline.com/

I will end by addressing börek – or more specifically peynirli su böreği, which I am in love with and cannot live with out.  This is MY favorite Turkish junk food – as well as my favorite, breakfast, lunch or dinner.   My friend has recently launched an online company for börek deliver in Istanbul – and I am certain it will take off with flying colors.  If she started the company here, my bikini-wearing days would be in significant jeopardy.  Her company is borekonline – check it out, Istanbullus. I should add that she does not know that I am posting this, so this is not an “asked for” link or sponsored link.

As an American who is conscious about her eating – if this representation of Turkish food is considered junk food, then I am in heaven!

Of peştemal, patlican and the perfect Turkish junk food (with home-style recipe)


After saying goodbye to Z. after my first-ever great morning at cement beach, M. and I walked up the hill, now expert at pre-stretching our legs in order to elude shin splints.  Upon entering the house, Kalinka was upon us, unleashing a stream of Turkish over M.’s way – the only word of which I understood was “peştemal.”  A peştemal is a Turkish-style towel, often woven in lovely, simple hues in the Bodrum area.  M.’s sister-in-law referred to it as “Bodrum cloth.” Apparently, M.’s niece was missing her favorite peştemal and a new one needed to be purchased immediately, or all hell would break loose.  M. explained that we needed to drive his sister-in-law over to the village bazaar immediately, although it was already late in the day “for the good stuff.”  It was the last of our days on the Bodrum penninsula – and we hadn’t been to the bazaar yet, so this was welcome news. Kalinka (the Moldovan maid who saves my life every time she smiles) warns us that we had better high-tail it over there, and we hop to it, salty hair from swimming and all.  While we are waiting for sister-in-law, Kalinka hoots and hollars in Turkish before saying to me in Russian, our shared broken language, “more fun than house!”

I am excited to shop for some peştemal.  Now that I am done with my burqini fantasy, it’s all about the cotton beach wrap - peştemal - to feel more modest along cement beach in the gated compound regardless of the machine gun-toting guards, for my last afternoon there, that is!  M. and his sister-in-law are conversing with great hilarity about something else – something called “patlican” (“pahtleejhahn” skinny, Chinese-style eggplant in U.S. parlance or aubergine to the Brits).  I hear kuçuk (small) and buyuk (big) and peals of laughter along with this word.  “What ever are you talking about?” I ask M. wishing that my flair for language would finally make its appearance with respect to Turkish.  Hacivad made his presence known just then, with a simple clearing of the throat “So, you are thinking so far, no luck, in the country 3 weeks and counting, must be patient. Remember, Rumi says “patience is the companion of wisdom.”

“Aubergine, um, eggplant,” M. explained a broad smile still inhabiting his face, “patlican is eggplant – and you can’t get better than the Turkish one, I can’t find it in the States.  We are going to make patlican salatası.”  Let me move from potato salad – to safer territory, roasted garlicky eggplant.  This territory is a bit safer and we had nothing to navigate here, as there was no American equivalent for me to get pissy about vis-a-vis my mayonnaise mania:)   By the way, I must admit, I am embarrassed to look back at myself then – so convinced that I was open to new things!  I had so much to learn, and am old enough to know that I have too much more to learn than I can realize.  At least I am more open to that reality now.  Wouldn’t trade middle age for anything.  And yes, it is just potato salad and mayonnaise we are talking about, but sometimes the tough stuff comes out in sheep’s clothing, I suppose.

Old-fashioned hues of three Bodrum peştemal

In any case, back to the bazaar, as we meandered through informal rows underneath the white canvas tent on the bazaar grounds, M. bounded up to me happily, saying that he had found not only the perfect peştemal, but also the perfect patlican seeds.  “This is excellent!” M. said, hands waving akimbo, “finally the seeds – I can never find the right eggplant back in the U.S.!”

“Hmm,” Karagöz noted, “p-items, items beginning with the lovely letter P! P into the sea! P all over me!  P, it’s free!”  Kenne pulled him off of his impromptu stage with a hooked cane, shushing him along the way.  He reeled in giggles despite the cane.  Oblivious to the presence of a very goofy Karagöz and horrified Kenne, M. began to explain his eggplant-cooking process. “We have to cook it on the coals (on the mangal or BBQ) to make it smoky, until it explodes and you mash it with garlic – then you can try my version of Turkish junk food.”  Now there’s a concept, I thought, Turkish junk food other than the Turkish-flavored crisps from Lay’s, for example.  “OK, sounds good to me – but junk food, I don’t know about that characterization.”  Armed with patlican and peştemal galore, we snaked through the streets at breakneck pace, feeling glad to be in the sturdy steel-tank that is a Volvo station wagon.

Our own eggplant-grilling moment

On the way home, M. talked nonstop about his various favorite eggplant dishes.  We became so hungry that we stopped for a snack.  An unassuming place by the roadside, with no other customers.  While this did not bode well to me, M. is blessed with the nose for the best places to eat – anywhere in the world – and I had already in our short months together learned to understand this.  M. knew the ancient-looking owner – who sits at the front table molding köfte (“keufteh” spiced meat balls) by hand in the shade of a white pine tree. Although the place was empty, I had faith that M.’s food judgement was still working.

Sitting there, we tried not only mashed eggplant with garlic, but also what M referred to as “my favorite version of Turkish junk food.” Essentially, it is slices (think potato French fry shape) of eggplant, grilled, along with yeşil biber (“yesheel beebehr” long skinny light green color peppers) that have been grilled until they are wilty. These are then dredged in strained sheep’s milk yogurt (cow’s yogurt would be fine too) that has been blended with fresh garlic (vs. dry) that I find often has a different and more pungent and almost fruitier taste. We spent an hour or so just talking eggplant with the waiters and chefs…with me writing down words as I understood them, once M. was up-to-here with the translating.

That night at dinner, M. referred to this visit to the little lokanta as
“research on Turkish junk food.”  Since then, we have done a lot of “research” all over Turkey on this form of Turkish cuisine – as in “two plates of patlican salatası, please!”

Once at home for the evening with M.’s brother, we prepared the mangal on the terrace at the top of the house, which is situated on a hill.  We savored the
wood smoke that comes from the special charcoal they use here – real wood (that in 2011, is all the Whole Foods rage). Here is the home-style recipe for what we did that night – and many other nights in the years since…

Homestyle Patlican Salatası

Step 1:  Place the eggplants on the grill – as pictured – or directly on the coals if you prefer.  Once they are white with heat, wait for them to explode – sort of like a sausage bursting a seam.

Step 2: After getting them blackened and soft with a split seam, so to speak, extract the soft, oozy interior, mashing the strands of eggplantness with a fork while mixing in extra virgin olive oil, crushed (vs. chopped) raw garlic to taste – we use a whole bulb, but we are garlic fanatics), fresh lemon juice and salt.

Step 3:  Try not to eat the entire deliciousness at one setting with a spoon.

Note:  People often add in roasted peppers, parsley and tomato to this salad as well – but we like it straight up.  Patlican salatası rules! Delicious…and never possible, to date, to re-create quite as well Stateside!